What do new mothers need?

What do new mother's need in those tender postpartum days? We examined that topic at a recent "Birth Matters" meeting here in Kalamazoo. Here's the list our birth and postpartum doulas came up with... Anything you would add? What did you need as a new mother?

What New Mothers Need

(in no particular order)

1) Meals! (preparing them for her or organizing others to do so)

2) Housework. (dishes, sweeping and mopping, toilets and shower – ask her!)

3) Your ear. (a safe, nonjudgmental space to share her emotions and, if needed, process her birth)

4) Community. (moms groups, mommy-baby activities, friendships)

5) Entertainment for older siblings. (play with them, bath them, read to them, take

them to and from school)

6) Self care. (permission to take care of herself with baths or naps, the time to do so, and space to ask for help when she needs it)

7) Visitors. (figure out what she needs and respect boundaries about how long to stay)

8) Breastfeeding support. (from her partner, family and friends, doula, an IBCLC lactation consultant; encouragement that, by and large, the human breast still works!)

9) Space to mourn her old life. (if she needs to do so, say goodbye to her old life and embrace her new and beautiful, but often intense world)

10) Courage to follow her heart. (unless the baby is in danger, she doesn’t necessarily have to do what her best friend/mom/grandma/doctor suggests… embrace the new world of making informed decisions that feel right in her own heart)

11) Support for her partner, too! (postpartum depression for dads is very real, he may need time and space and someone to care for him so that he can stay strong and helpful to her... the same holds true for same-sex partners, of course)

12) Ask her! (every woman, every baby, every postpartum experience is unique, and women's needs vary... offer suggestions, ask how you can help and be ready to respond!)