Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Your doula: Shake it like Shakira


by Jessica English

Watching this season of NBC's "The Voice," I've been amazed by the way pop superstar Shakira has doula'd her team members. She nurtures, supports, encourages and praises with the perspective of an insider. Doula! Now those who love me know that I can turn just about anything into a birth analogy… But hear me out, friends. Read on and I'm convinced you'll see the connection too.

Frederic Legrand / Shutterstock.com
She's genuine and passionate.
Can't you just feel Shakira's genuine warmth? She seems to truly love music and her spontaneous outbursts help make the show fun! Shakira's hugs seem real. Similarly, your doula is in this work because she (or he!) truly believes in women and in birth! She believes in you. We can talk birth into the wee hours, and our passion drives us to stay on call for you 24/7, not to mention staying up all night with you in labor. Your doula is genuinely proud of you and excited to see you become a mother!

She knows when to nurture and when to push.
As a voice coach, Shakira has great instincts about when to be gentle with her singers and when to get more assertive to drive them forward toward their goal. Your doula understands that balance too! Professional doulas are trained to maximize oxytocin and help shape birth memories by nurturing the mother, but we also know how to recognize those moments when "taking charge" is just the right thing to help guide a woman on her journey. The trust bond you have with your doula makes her just the right person to both soothe you and help you dig deep for strength grit and when you need it.

She understands the business.
I can only imagine how much Shakira's contestants need their families. Their husbands, wives, partners and parents bring them strength and connection on a crazy journey through "The Voice." But Shakira… Shakira knows the music business. Along with emotional support from their families, the singers also need Shakira's expertise in how to engage an audience and how to bring out the best in their voice. Your partner can be an amazing support person during your birth – this is the person you have chosen to spend your life with! Of course you want the people you love by your side during labor. But your doula knows birth. She understands how to navigate the physical and logistical aspects of your labor and your birth place. It helps to have a full team to help you navigate your birth experience: each member with his or her own strengths. If there's an unexpected twist in your journey to meet your little one, your doula can stay calm in the moment to help you regroup and restrategize to create your best birth.

She's with you no matter how the tides shift.
Shakira is no fair weather coach! America can be fickle, but Shakira's heart stayed strong and steady with her singers to the end. She believed in them! Similarly, birth can be unpredictable. Your doula will do everything she can to help you "stack your deck" and achieve your ideal birth experience, but even the best preparation can't guarantee any one outcome. Although she can't guarantee exactly how your birth will go, your doula can say that she will be by your side, supporting you through, cheering you on, no matter what. Unmedicated birth? Epidural? Cesarean? You doula is your biggest supporter! No. Matter. What.

She knows how to shake it!
It feels like an understatement to say that Shakira is famous for her moves. The woman knows how to shake it. Throughout time, the rhythms of women's dance have been based on the movements of sex… and birth. Your doula knows a lot of moves! I remember one of my clients reflecting back on her birth, saying, "You started helping me move and everything opened right up! I was amazed at how well you understood a woman's body." Exactly! That's how we roll. Your doula can help you figure out just how to move your body to help ease your baby into the world. Often women who are well supported find those moves instinctively, and in that case your doula will be right there to assure and encourage you – "That's it. That's the way. Beautiful." In a complicated labor, a professional doula also knows ways to move that may help your baby into a better position and facilitate a smooth birth. Shake, shimmy, sway, spiral and squat. Your doula's got the moves!

What did we miss, friends? How else is your doula like Shakira? Did you enjoy this comparison? Tell us about it in the comments section below!



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Jessica English is a DONA-certified birth doula and Lamaze-certified childbirth educator. She is owner of Birth Kalamazoo, a Midwest agency that offers birth and postpartum doula services, natural birth and breastfeeding classes, in-home lactation consults and a renewal circle for mothers. As a DONA-approved birth doula trainer, Jessica mentors (and learns from!) new doulas entering this amazing work.

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